Purpose
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:14
It has been hard. Many people have asked me how it is being back….Hard. When you live in a place for an extended period of time, you build a community, a routine, a life. I was happy and comfortable, and most of all living on purpose. I had the amazing gift of waking up every day and not only being excited to go to work, but knowing that my work had a purpose.
As of late the word “purpose” has laid heavy on my heart. What is purpose? Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done of created or for which something exists. The beautiful thing about our existence is that we were created for and with a purpose. “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be bold and blameless in his sight. In love.” Ephesians 1:4.
We did not choose him, but he chose us, and with a purpose he chose us. To love and be a reflection of his character. When reflecting these past couple of weeks I really struggled with what was next… Was I to keep going back and forth in the USA and SA, was I suppose to stay in the US or was I suppose to stay in SA. I did not know what the best or right decision was.
Selfishly I did not want to keep going. I am so tired of the emotional roller coaster of saying goodbye and adjusting to a completely different culture on a continual basis. I remember getting on the plane home this trip and thinking, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep saying goodbye. I am not strong enough.
However as usual God heard my cry and answered. "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32. See God loves us and will always answer us, however it may not always be on our timing. That next week of being home I spoke with many about how I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and the fear of not being able to live up to the “missionary” persona.
It was not until I ran into a shoe shiner/preacher named Phillip that I realized that my purpose has already been laid out for me, and the beauty of it all is I don’t have to worry or fear because the one who laid it out loves me far more than anything I could ever imagine. Sitting on the stairs listening to Phillip not only name off all my questions and fears without knowing me one bit, and them speaking right into my life with encouragement was one of the most beautiful and timely times the Word of God has been directly spoken into my life. "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:33-34. See….No matter what life throws my way, God has made my purpose clear…Love God, love His people and Listen!